My other half..

Hi...today I feel like writing down something here. Doesnt matter takde orang baca pun, it's just for me..I love to come here and read what i've written down.

You will always look beautiful in the eyes of the right man. :)


Last weekend, my husband brought us to Kemaman because I said I want minum petang in Kuala Kemaman. Nasiblah suami yang dapat isteri kuat makan macam ni kan..hehehe. Ijust love Terengganu for its beauty and food! lol


Every weekend husband would go to his lab, and I'll be home buat kerja rumah yang takde penghujung. BUt I have no choices, if I did not do it, rumah akan berantakan...anak2 akan tidak terurus. Patutlah orang oerempuan ni mudah nak kumpul pahala...setiao inci rumah, wanitalah yang menguruskannya. Lucky for me that my husband pun jenis ringan tulang. Dia tak boleh tengok habuk dan akan vacuum satu rumah..:D


I'm thinking of dedicating this post to him, though he does not read it. He knew about my blog but I did not allow him to read. Sebabnya...dia akan jadikan bahan nak mengusik setiap ayat yang aku tulis... Memang kerja dia suka mengusik bini dan anak2 dia.

To be honest, my husband is not a romantic person. Ade lah sekali sekala bila dia rasa nak ber gula bersemut tapi rarely. But I love him for the way he is. Tegas, garang, cerewet, tapi penyayang sangat...Alhamdulillah for him in my life..

I am actually has nobody else rather than him and my sister and mom. I think recently I've developed an insecurity after I lost my little sis. I'm traumatised. Sangat takut kehilangan porang yang aku sayang lagi. Sangat tak kuat nak hadapi kehilangan lagi. Bukan aku tak redha dengan takdir Tuhan. Aku redha Allah lebih menyayangi mereka. Tapi aku kehilangan. Aku sedar satu hari aku juga akan menyusul. Hari aku akan tiba. Tapi kehilangan sesungguhnya sangat menyakitkan. Aku sayang sepenuh hati. Tapi Allah lebih sayang. Aku rindu. Dan Allah tahu.


Untuk suamiku satu-satunya dunia dan akhirat...
Aku terlalu menyayangi,namun aku tidak sempurna. Aku manusia yang banyak kelemahan. Aku stress bila letih. Aku mahu buat yang terbaik untukmu dan anak2...tapi jiwa aku lemah..Selagi bernyawa, aku akan terus menyayangi..satunya cinta duniaku dan semoga di akhirat ku jua..

Memories

hai...dah lama tak memblog....ade ke lagi orang baca blog ni...takpe lantakla situ..aku nak letak a few photos...rindu life kat Canada weh...

The last photo was taken before we take off to Malaysia for good.. What a life we had in Canada.

SHort Retreat..

Tak sempat nak update banyak2...tapi nak letak gambar...sebab suka sangat dapat spend masa dengan anak2..yang dah lama diorang nak..

Yang di atas dan di bawah

Back at my office. Of course a different one. But the same ambient, still.

So I was just assigned 2 courseworks for the next semesters. Sedangkan kerja Phd ku beratur menunggu...dan pemegang2 Phd sekalian hanya dapat satu subjek atau mungkin tak ada langsung. Wah. Tepuk sikit.


But I am not gonna complain much. I'll do what I am paid for. I feed my children with that money. i'll do the right things. Haha.


Ya Allah, lancarkan prjalanan Phd ku. But again, this life is just for once. Ada Phd ke tak ke tak penting sangat pun. Yang penting attitude kau tetap manusia yang normal. Hahaha. Rebellious kah? Asal lambat habis Phd je kau kata rebel... dah tu kau yang terang2 dah ada Phd, kau nak apa lagi dalam hidup kau? sampai kerja hakiki pun taknak buat. Pemalas.



Erkk..maafkan negative vibe tu. It happens. Aku manusia biasa juga. But never mind, aku sedih sehari je. Aku move on dah. Jom tulis paper sikit pagi ni...petang nanti nak siapkan correction proposal pula.


Missed canada and its vibe...but not the school....hahahah

July post

It's July now. How time flies. How much more lots of reading I should do yet I still lazying around. There are days when I can't stop reading but it is not everyday...

To be honest, all the stressful feeling on doing Phd was gone. But to be honest too, I still sometimes feel that I missed Canada. I missed our routines in the morning. Sending the kids off to school and daycares, and have coffee for two..before we both went to school. Canadian lifestyle sangat..:D haha.. but I can tell the environment is different. We only mind our own business..


To be back here is good..study is not as stressful as in UofT..supervisor is so far so good too..alhamdulillah. Less pressure..but I'm making sure that I am doing progress. Kalau stress pun kat negara sendiri ni hanyalah faktor sekeliling..which is sometimes a big impact to our lives too..


Malaysian cares too much on our lives...aren't they? Semua nak tahu..semua nak tanya..which is sometimes not appropriate..and tiring too to handle. Haha. I am not a failure though some of them asked questions as if I am one. I still keep going and I will complete my thesis soonest possible. And give my children good lives. Life is good enough nowadays, alhamdulillah. Again, Phd is not everything. Life is still going on, it doesn't stop there. My life is still meaningful.This is part of my journey. A journey that nobody know where it would lead me to.


Kalau hidup bersederhana..boleh je survive..no worries..rezeki ada di mana2.. I just have to restrain my kids from buying more toys..the prices are too ridiculous. Beli kat pasar malam cukuplah nak. Ibu is kedekut about toys. Hahaa. Kalau beli buku atau makanan tak apa.

Back for good

Hi I’m back!

Been ignoring this blog since i came back to MALAYSIA. Been busy rearranging the furniture and whatsoever in our home sweet home.

Malaysia is hot 😩 I still remember when we first get back here we can rarely sleep. Aku jadi zombi tiap2 hari tak lena tido. But now alhamdulillah our body adapted well..dah memang asalnya pun sini kan...

I love coming back but somehow it feels different without my late lil sis...😔 she really missed me I could feel it. Tapi Allah lebih sayangkn arwah. Untuk ke sekian kalinya, aku redha. Siapa aku untuk menentang takdir Yang Maha Kuasa..ya Allah..

We are settling down here..Medina dah masuk darjah 1. Dia masih membiasakan diri dan lidahnya dengan bahasa Melayu. I won’t force her. Exam baru ni dia kata kawan semua dapat markah 100%, tapi dia dapat 65-76 for all subjects. I told her it doesn’t matter what u get, u can always improve yourself kakak.. i truly don’t want my children compare themselves with their peers or anybody. I believe that by time they will shine...InshaaAllah.

I realized that there are so many things I need to improve. Hidup ini terlalu singkat. I won’t reverse my steps and will keep going forward.

My mini family..there are everything for me ❤️ 

Mont Tremblant, Quebec

If u have something that money cannot buy, you are rich enough.....