Makan Doa Cinta

I have task to be completed..as usual. But my body is aching..i feel energy-less to so anything. Different from yesterday which i felt so fresh and energetic in the morning.


And talking about tasks, i have to review my wedding custom album,but hmm..i dont feel like doing it. Nevertheless, there's a few errors i already figured out, so no choices..i have to take a look on it then. And other wedding photos for printing..as requested by families..nk besarkan la..nk frame la.. At early weeks of my marriage, i feel happy to do so..but now i just dont have the energy. Where is all my energy gone?


Sorry for those ramblings.. i realised that i always ramble about myself..my life.Sometimes i got nice thing to be shared but when i start writing, i just cudnt show up in my mind. Maybe im just not a good writer.



Anyway, last week we watched the Eat Pray Love dvd at home. I was eager to watch just because i already read the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. Yes im sure many knows about the bestseller book. I read it when i was still not working..just finish my study and stayed at home sweet home. The movie was not bad..the plot was still following the book.Buku ni tentang penulis tu sendiri yang rasa jiwanya kosong walaupun dia dah ada semua yang dia patut ada. Sebagai orang Islam, awal2 kita dah tahu kenapa dia rasa kosong, sebab jiwanya tidak terisi dengan Tuhan. I love the part when she was in India..not the Hindu thingy, but when her new friend told her about to select her thoughts..' Liz, u musty select your thoughts like u select your clothes everyday'..that's from Richard from Texas.


I agreed with what he said.We must select our thoughts, because there are two types of them.One is constructive while the other one is destructive.Of constructive thoughts are the +ve thoughts and destructive cud ruin us.


Truthfully i was made of both the optimist and pesimist personality. Optimist in school years, but became pessimist in uni years..When it comes to personality, we cud not blame anyody because it comes from ourselves. I think the most miserable times was when i was doing my masters. I dont have many friends on that time, and i refused to socialised much because my mind keep repeating the Msc tasks..May be it was my fault for refusing it. I only have a few friends and at that time, everybody seems to have their own commitments.



My weekends always ended up in the lab..facing my working pc and whatnot.And i was having the long distance relationship with my husband.He's in Tganu while i was in Bangi..we meet about 2-3 months once.And since i pursuing my masters, i dont go to KL for shopping or jalan2 anymore.Maybe yes, but only once in a while.


So my masters was all my life was about. I spend most of my time alone especially on weekends.On weekdays, i just sit there and do stuff in the lab.That the main factor which leading me became so -ve and miserable..life become dull and not interesting each day. I go back to hostel at 10 pm everynight just to sleep and come back after performing Subuh prayer.Macamana nak ada life. Kalau seronok sikit pun bila attend conference with friends.That's all.


Until one day, i was awaken..and became to realise i cant keep living like this, this is not the life that i wanted to live in! This is not a life afterall. And i started searching for motivational readings again..[i always love motivational books] i went to see my lecturer [not my sv] and cried out of a sudden[ think ive written about this]


okla..ive to stop for now..rasa nak tapau lunch kat kedai luar je la..tak boleh tahan makanan kafe lg dah..sobsob..to be continued k..heee.