Focus

I feel unwell today..actually it happens for a few days now. Why am i so weak these days...i am so dont get it.


I know there's something that causing it.But i dont know how to get over it. I just dont have the courage. I asked myself whether i feel this way because i dont like others to have what they wanted? But truly, i never felt like that. If others could have the luxuries that they ever dream for..im happy for them.


Sometimes i wonder why i dont have big dreams about material.When other people are busy talking and running towrds it, i just dont bother. Am i cool enough? Or im just an ignorant. Huhu. Not cool..isnt it.



May be it's just that i dont dream big. Or else i ve get used to accept everything as it was. Im a realistic person...dont u think so?huhu. That is cool.;)


Or maybe i just missed my family so much...! :( i miss amar haziq..i miss the little baby, Amelia..they are cute yet adorable.



Tell me how could i focus on other beneficial things..may be i need someone to talk to.Oh, i missed my friends a lot. Ain has just delivered her baby...her son..im so happy for her..:) and nane is just too busy i cud not disturb.


It is always hard for us to get everything that we wanted. Anyway all i wanted is just family and friends to be around me...is that too much? sobsob..


Im already thinking to move to another workplace once i finished the 3 year agreement with this univ. But it is a long term planning..and if i choose that way, i have to find independant scholarship to further my phD..Well, i'll think of it.Three years might be long enough for me to think..aite.


It's only when i focus on what im doing, i cudnt be distracted anymore.Eceh..confident tu..Well3. For now, I should focus on what? my swollen belly? or my tutorial? hahaha..maybe now is time for my baby...i have to read a lot..and im still feeling that i m lack of that.



So, focus..focus..focus!